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Relationships in the Cactus-Lined Hallway of Life


There is a massive, and I mean MASSIVE shift taking place right now. And it's uncomfortable. My friend articulated it perfectly when she said, "I feel like I'm being pushed down a hallway lined with cactuses." This shift is turning up our shit. Deep, soul level, lifetimes of shit. And for many, it's showing up as chaos. I've never been so cognizant, and repelled, by the chaos energy in my life. This is a call to turn inward on an incredibly deep level. The chaos is showing up for those who continue to grasp in the outer world. For those who continue to perpetuate their own bullshit. This can be a hard pill to swallow. A hard reflection to face. But we need to be willing to do hard things. For me, being honest in my observations, the chaos is helping me stay on my path. It's helping me find freedom. Because the chaos shows me where I don't belong. As a single woman, I'm observing how much this is showing up in both men and women in relationships. I'm seeing how many men have shown up in my life with their chaos energy, on the surface leaving me wondering, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" In working through my own imbalanced masculine and feminine energies within, a bigger picture really becomes so much more clear. In tune with the prickly vibe in the ethers, no doubt my reflections here may cause others to feel their own prickly-ness. I've had more than my fair share of experience with the imbalanced masculine, and so have many of my single sisters. Time and time again, I see and hear women upset with their dating experiences. Men are this and men are that. And the same goes on the other side of the table from the male perspective. It's easy to point fingers. It's harder to look in a mirror. Many years ago, I realized that I needed to go much deeper within and look at what it was in myself that continued to invite in these experiences. Where was I inviting in chaos? Where was I turning a blind eye? In what ways was I making excuses and tolerating unacceptable behaviour? If I wasn't willing to hold myself accountable, how could I be willing to hold a partner or potential partner accountable? I had to change the narrative from, "I'm so tired of these men," to "I'm no longer willing to tolerate..." It looked something like this: I'm no longer willing to tolerate being lied to. Manipulated Gaslighted Used Abused I'm no longer willing to tolerate ignoring the red flags I feel deep within myself. I'm no longer willing to hold myself back. I'm no longer willing to subdue my needs, wants, and desires out of fear of not being received, or receiving backlash. I'm no longer willing to accept even an ounce less than what I deserve. I AM willing to speak the truth of my heart and soul. I AM willing to stand in my integrity, always. I AM willing to be alone before I will ever be swayed to be less than, or accept less than. I AM willing to hold up a mirror to my brothers and sisters, lovingly reflecting what may be hard to look at and face. I AM willing to be a part of dismantling collective enabling. I can assure you with certainty, "shitty men and women" will stop being so shitty when there's no one out there willing to tolerate their shit. It's that simple. And that hard. To be willing to put up the boundary, speak up loudly, and turn your back time and time again. As many times as it takes. So I ask, will you join me? What are you no longer willing to tolerate? And what are you willing to do to change it? The world changes when we change. It's an inside job. And the time is now.

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