I wrote this piece months ago, and then I sat on it. I’m not even really sure why other than it didn’t feel ready to be shared. It wasn’t ripe yet.
I value vulnerability in my writing, and this is a deeply personal piece. Maybe that has been the hesitation. I always say to be smart with your vulnerability. Sometimes things are too young, soft, fresh, or new to be shared far and wide.
So why share now? Simply because I feel called to. Maybe there’s someone out there who needs to read it. Maybe there is a piece of me that’s ready for that next level of vulnerability. Maybe it’s both.
Here it is. A little piece of my heart for yours. A tale that begins on a jungle trail in Costa Rica…
On my last full day in Manuel Antonio in Costa Rica, on the vibrant, humid shores of the Pacific Ocean, I met a man who touched my heart in a way that I have never experienced before. A moment that I will never forget and that no doubt forever changed me. Moment that could seem so small and insignificant that it’s still hard to believe that it had such a profound and potent impact.
The story starts with a lovely woman who I met on my first day arriving at the hostel. She had arrived the same day and we immediately connected. We spent much of our time together in Manuel Antonio sharing stories and laughs and enjoying sunsets, delicious food, and beautiful beaches.
We both had admissions to Manuel Antonio National Park on our last full day. However, my entry time was at 7am and hers 8am. So we agreed that we would meet up later in the day to have lunch and go to the beach for the afternoon, as one of the most beautiful beaches in Manuel Antonio is only accessible through the national park.
I had a magical experience hiking through the park on my own and after hours of exploring, I decided that I would nap on the beach prior to lunch. On my way to find a resting place, I ran into my hostel roommate with another young woman who had checked in the night before and a man whom I had never met. I was immediately drawn to him; not in a way of surface level attraction, but in a way that my soul knew this person even though my mind knew that we had never met before.
He had eyes and a smile I recognized and an energy that I had felt before. In a short couple minutes of talking, he reached out and remarked about my new tattoo and there was something about his presence and the way that he spoke that really grabbed me. I had let them know that I would meet up with them later and as I continued to make my way for a rest, I could not stop thinking about him.
Who was he? How could he feel so familiar, yet I had never met him before? Why did he leave such an impression on me in those two minutes that we stood there under the jungle canopy? Maybe we had never met before in these physical forms, but it felt obvious to me that our souls had a remembering of each other.
The four of us reconnected over lunch and made our way down to the beach for the afternoon. And it was at the beach where him and I would have a connection and conversation that would touch me in ways that I never imagined. That I never thought possible in such a short time, and a seemingly simple way.
It wasn’t so much the words that we shared, what we said to each other, but the energy—the frequency—that was exchanged. I had never met this man before yet when I looked into his eyes, I knew him. Not only had we met before, we knew each other—somewhere in some space and time that is not in this timeline and lifetime. His eyes, his energy, touched my heart in ways that possibly no other man had up until that point. When he looked at me and spoke to me, I felt seen and heard in ways that were unfamiliar to me in this physical vessel, yet familiar to my soul.
He helped me remember. That energy, that was the connection that I seek. That I know in the depths of my being. That open-hearted, deep, penetrating loving warmth is what I desire. And here was this complete stranger—who was not a stranger at all—reflecting it to me. Not only helping me remember but mirroring to me exactly what it is that I offer. Reflecting this breathtakingly beautiful balance of giving and receiving, the divine union of the masculine and feminine.
Ironically—not coincidentally—partially taking place under the Manzanilla de la Muerte. The tree of death. Sitting underneath the poison apple with Medusa and snake medicine coursing through my veins, being taken right back to the beginning. Adam and Eve, where the story first became distorted. It was so clear. The distortion ends now. The time to remember is now.
After so much laughter and loving connection on the beach that afternoon, we had to part ways as we were all preparing to leave Manuel Antonio either that evening or the next day. The human part of me almost felt like it was a cruel joke from spirit. Like really? I met this incredible person on our last days in Costa Rica, him preparing to return to Columbia, me preparing to return to Canada, quite likely to never see each other again.
But deep inside of me, I knew that was okay. That this experience, this encounter was everything that it needed to be. It was an opening, a portal to something more. What that more was I didn’t even know. But I knew what I felt in my heart and I knew that from that point forward, things were going to be different.
As I reflected on my long journey back home, I felt so deeply that I must support myself, my heart, my mission, my purpose, and in doing so, I would be rewarded beyond measure. I knew that these next chapters were going to be beautiful and amazing. I felt so open and ready, excited to witness, live, and experience the unfolding.
Let me tell you, did it ever. I had no idea the heart opening, healing, and unfolding that the following months would bring. This moment back in February opened a portal that led me to where I stand today, a place within myself I once wondered if I would ever reach. And here I am.
And as for the man on the beach, I am forever grateful for him and what we shared that day. That afternoon. Over a matter of hours. Living thousands of miles apart, we found each other in paradise where the jungle meets the sea, and I know in the depths of my being that somewhere in some space and time, we will surely meet again.