Don't Follow Your Heart; BE IN IT

There are so many talking heads in the world right now. I don’t know about you, but it’s all becoming too much. Everywhere I turn, someone is shouting — grabbing the spotlight, offering the solution, selling the next best thing. Politics. Business. Health. Fitness. Wellness. Spirituality. No part of society seems untouched by the noise.

Everyone has the answer. Everyone else is apparently wrong, out of alignment, or just not awake enough. All you need to do is follow your heart, breathe through your trauma, reset your nervous system, clear your money blocks, or hire a high-level coach who charges more than your mortgage.

Honestly? I’m tired. It’s all starting to feel like performance. A blur of empty words. And to be real with you — it’s turning me off social media entirely.

I ask: Am I just another talking head in this space? What are we even doing here? How did we get here? Can we shift it? Do we want to?

These are big questions. And I’m not going to pretend I have the answers. I don’t think anyone really does. That’s the point.

One of my beloved teachers, Sarah Marshank, recently shared a podcast with Bayo Akomolafe — a visionary thinker who speaks to what I’ve been feeling deep in my bones. He said what I’ve struggled to put into words: we’ve lost the art of listening. We’ve lost the willingness to hold complexity. We’ve become obsessed with being right, being seen, being “on message.”

We’re out here trying to be good — good people, good citizens, good allies — but we’re avoiding the hard stuff. The deep-down, tangled messiness of it all. We don’t want to admit that we might be part of the problem. That maybe, just maybe, some of these problems don’t have neat solutions.

And while we posture for clarity, we lose the nuance. We overtalk. We yell. We cancel. We ghost. We judge. The comment sections on damn near anything? Heartbreaking.

The ones screaming the loudest get heard. And those who might offer something real, something raw, something nuanced, stay silent. People are afraid. Afraid to ask questions. Afraid to say, “I don’t know.” Afraid of being shamed, called out, labeled, misunderstood. It’s become a battlefield. And strangely, it’s the spiritual and wellness communities that are sometimes the worst culprits.

How did we get so hateful? So divided? So reactive?

I don’t think most people are trying to cause harm. But it’s happening anyway. The culture of shame, moral superiority, and curated outrage is seeping into everything. And a lot of folks are building their brands on it.

These times are wild.

And I keep hearing the echo of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s words:

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

But let’s be clear: this isn’t a call to bypass reality with fluff and fake light. We don’t need more “love and light” mantras slapped over our wounds. We need courage. Grit. A willingness to shine that love into the darkest places, starting within ourselves.

When we feel hate, judgment, or shame rising up — and we will — it’s not a sign to lash out. It’s an invitation to turn inward. These emotions are mirrors. What we do with them matters. Projecting them only deepens the wound. It adds to the noise.

So maybe, instead of pointing fingers, we ask: What’s my next right action here?

And if you don’t know — or if the only thing coming up is hate and rage, frustration and irritation — maybe the answer is silence. Maybe it’s listening. Maybe it’s humbling yourself enough to learn.

This whole “speak your truth” movement is everywhere. Use your voice. Set boundaries. Do better. Let them. God help me with those last two.

Have we gone too far?

Deleting or canceling everyone who doesn’t see the world the same way — is that really growth? Is swearing at strangers in the name of justice the path forward? If the goal is love and education, is alienating everyone who misunderstands us really the way?

I keep wondering, if MLK Jr. had Facebook, would he delete everyone who didn’t get it? Or would he pull them in? Invite them to the table? Try to understand, try to be understood?

Because that’s what’s missing. Understanding. Compassion. Willingness to sit with contradiction.

And this is not to discount the need for boundaries. There are surely people who will cross lines and yes, it is absolutely fair to honour your energy and remove them from your social media or your life. But maybe we need to look at our lines. Maybe we need to look at our reactions and do a better job of crafting our responses from a place of loving kindness. Compassion. Real understanding. A willingness to hold complexity and seemingly opposite points of view.

No one said that this will be easy. But if we truly want to make a difference and be the change, we have to face our discomfort and no longer shy away from hard work.

Are your boundaries built from love or ego? Are they keeping you safe or keeping you superior?

Self-righteousness and moral superiority is becoming a plague. A new kind of virus. One that masquerades as justice, but thrives on shame. And I’m not here for it.

We need to learn when to speak — and more importantly, when to shut up and listen. So many of us need to do the latter way more often.

We need to get quiet. Do our work. Real work. The kind that isn’t pretty or postable. The kind that no one claps for. Because I promise you, if we all did our inner work, if we actually aligned with our own hearts and spirits, we wouldn’t even need to have these conversations.

We’re not here to be perfect. But we are here to be human.

Maybe it’s not so much about following your heart as it’s about simply being in it.

And for a lot of folks, it seems that ain’t so simple.