I lost myself a little somewhere along the way. This happens from time to time.
As multidimensional cosmic souls, sometimes we can get so caught up in the human experience that we lose perspective. Until something or someone comes along to remind us and we course correct.
I got caught up in a comparison loop. I see how easily it happens. I have a lot of past conditioning and programming that comes from earning a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration and spending years working in marketing and education.
The story goes: if you want to be successful, you must do XYZ to get there. Apply “this” formula for success. Create “this” branding package. Market yourself in “this” way.
Blah, blah, blah.
Social media can suck you in so easily if you’re not being a vigilant witness. I entered the abyss, as I have times before, and it took me a little bit to get myself back out.
I started strategizing, formulating, reading, looking at the other “successful” people, and adjusting based on the above points.
I was heading down the rabbit hole without even asking myself why and I soon found myself in a place that I wasn’t enjoying. That’s when I had to step back and ask myself why I was even there.
Social media started to feel like a chore. A burden. It was taking me further away from my joy, passion, and creativity. I was struggling to find my words and drifting further away from my muse.
I got caught up in that perception that followers equal success, even though that I actually don’t resonate with that. I know this is a goal and strategy for many folks, and I’m not calling it down at all. I just had to remind myself that it’s not MINE.
I have zero interest in turning myself into a marketing package to be branded. I realized I was wearing a cloak that didn’t belong to me and it was unnecessarily weighing me down.
I woke up one morning with the message loud and clear. “You are a person, not a personality.” I’m here to show up as myself, leaning into my realness, authenticity, and vulnerability. Formulas and strategies lead me away from the heart of who I am. That is MY truth.
As I took a moment to step away and ponder all of this, I decided to get into nature on my mountain bike. I looked at a map, planned my route, and went on my way. As it turned out, the map wasn’t exactly accurate, my route didn’t go anywhere near what I had planned, and the ride wasn’t anything that I expected it to be.
It was so much better.
In the moment where I realized that things weren’t going as planned, rather than getting stressed out and trying to figure out how to stay on course, I threw it all away and went with the flow. And it was more magical than I could have imagined. It brought me so much medicine and everything that my heart and soul needed.
What a metaphor for life in general, let alone this scenario that I was finding myself in.
And that’s when it hit me.
We are currently watching an old paradigm fall away. And as these patriarchal structures crumble, they work that much harder to imprint their programs on us. I witness this in all corners of social media (and the world) on a regular basis, and I’m not immune to getting swayed by it.
But now that I’ve been served reminders and gained deeper awareness, I’m throwing that rule book out the window. If I’m going to be dismissed for opportunities because of a lack of followers or methodical branding, so be it.
That’s not where I’m going.
My social media reach is not a reflection of my imprint on the world at large.
I’ve never been one to play by the rules anyway. I play by my own rules, follow my inner compass, and do it my way. By the rhythm of a divine feminine heartbeat, something that is not welcome in the old patriarchal paradigm.
I need to remember that every time I lose sight of this, I inadvertently disconnect from myself.
I just have to show up and be me. Share my journey and light and offer my hand and heart. The rest will unfold exactly as it needs to. As it is meant to.
In this, I have faith and trust.
All I need to do is remember who I am. . . . (PS – I’m truly grateful for all of you who do follow me and engage with my posts and content. I appreciate every single one of you. The comments, private messages, and conversations on the streets where I hear how my shares have impacted people’s lives is my WHY. I would rather have five people tell me how I touched their hearts than have 5000 followers any day. Quality over quantity every time. Thank you for being a part of this incredible journey.)