Costa Rica is a divine feminine paradise that heals your heart.
She will unravel layers you never knew were there and plunge you to depths you never knew possible.
If you let her. Invite her in. Embrace her.
I first experienced this when I traveled there in 2023 (read about that here if you like).
I knew that when I returned in 2024 to facilitate a frequency retreat that she would greet me in the heart space once again. How, I did not know, but I could feel the rumbling and building well before I ever set foot on the plane.
The 10 days I spent there provided some of the most magical experiences I’ve ever had in my life. And also grinded me through incredibly challenging experiences. Part of the teachings presented were about ‘wanting it all.’ If we truly want to live a life of having it all, then we have to have it all. Full spectrum, all polarities.
Showing up in the spaces where we cannot deny one without the other. Showing up in the spaces that cause us incredible discomfort because we’re committed to our growth, evolution, and the beautiful things that continue to come our way.
Living from the heart in our frequency does not mean denying darkness. It means embracing it, allowing it to move through us, and within that, still being able to experience the light. This is having it all.
And how all of this would move through the layers of my heart wasn’t to be fully seen and experienced until I returned home.
An overwhelming call to fully understand, accept, and embrace the love that my heart holds, the tenderness and softness that I so often unconsciously protect. Because my heart is big, I love big, I feel big, and in that space, the potential for hurt is also big.
Keeping a soft, open heart and inviting love in and reciprocating it, fully and unconditionally, is one of the biggest risks that any of us can take. It’s terrifying. It opens us to the potential for paralyzing heartache. And as such, we close off, shut down, and limit our heart-led experiences of life. We limit our potential and possibility for having it all.
It’s such an incredibly challenging, frustrating, aching, and yet beautiful paradigm and polarity to navigate.
This is the work that Costa Rica brought me. To be in the ache and not shut down. To be in the ache and choose to continue to love. To be in the ache and have faith that it won’t last forever. A reminder that often the love that breaks our hearts the most is also the same one that taught us how to love the most.
As I sit in a review of the decades-long evolution of my heart, I am reminded that I lived the life of a guarded heart for many years. The pain of that was truly unbearable and it is not something that I ever want to return to. Ever.
I want it all. So I will take the aches and bumps and bruises and bleeding—the guilt, the shame, the self-judgement within the space of pain—in order to live in the fullness of my soft, tender, immense heart that longs to be in the frequency of love, feeling love, spreading love so wildly and freely. Even in the moments when it hurts so bad, I don’t know how it’s possible.
On our last full retreat day, we had the opportunity to give back to the magical, healing land that held us by planting trees. We each got to plant our own sapling. As we planted, we poured our intentions and offerings into its roots. We seeded our hearts, hopes, and dreams into this incredible landscape where these trees will grow and share that frequency with all who visit for centuries to come.
Something amazing was activated that day and I’m fully open to whatever form it brings into my life, heart wide open, wild and free.
Even in the ache.
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